Midlife crisis, it’s a phrase often tossed around, usually with clichés of buying flashy cars or making radical life changes. But for Paul Sutton, it’s something far deeper and more meaningful.
Paul was my guest on a recent episode of Life’s 2nd Act. He shared how he’s been wrestling with a sense of unease, discontent with the very life he’s built and a search for something more.
Paul and I have a lot in common, as I too have been feeling ‘out of sorts’. Through talking to Paul, I realised we had so much in common. It’s was comforting to know I wasn’t the only one feeling the way I was.
For Paul, the crisis didn’t happen overnight. It was a slow burn, lasting nearly two years. A subtle dissatisfaction crept into various parts of his life, his work, home, even his sense of self. “It hit me like a ton of bricks this year—this creeping sense of misery I couldn’t quite explain,” he recalls.
Here he was, halfway through life, questioning everything he thought he knew about himself. Was this the infamous midlife crisis? “Why hadn’t I been warned? It’s like society never tells men this stage is coming,” Paul reflected. The only images we get are extremes... either you’re weak or you’re splurging on a Porsche. But midlife is far more nuanced than that.
It wasn’t until a tipping point—sitting at a friend’s birthday party, feeling utterly disconnected that Paul realised he had to make a change. “I can’t go on living like this,” he thought. And that’s when the real work began. His journey, however, didn’t come with immediate relief. At first, Paul struggled to identify what was really happening. Then, stumbling across a book about midlife, he finally put a name to his experience. “It’s not just me going mad, but at the same time, am I so predictable?” he joked.
Paul soon realised that his focus had been too narrow. He had always placed his family at the center of his life—but at the cost of his own well-being. “Ignoring myself for years wasn’t noble, it was harmful,” he admitted. He wasn’t chasing status or money—those were never his drivers. What he really craved was something meaningful, something for him. He needed a personal sense of purpose.
What’s remarkable about Paul’s story is how he’s chosen to face this part of his life head-on. With the support of his wife and through self-reflection, he’s been exploring what it means to be a man at this stage in life. “I began journaling, not because I wanted to be a writer, but because I needed to get the mess in my head out on paper,” he shared. Simple acts—journaling, taking a cold shower, walking the dog—became small, routine steps that brought structure to his days. Slowly, they pulled him out of the fog.
Now committed to understanding his journey and helping others, Paul has turned his personal exploration into a podcast, sharing stories, tools, and insights from those navigating similar paths. He’s passionate about supporting men in midlife, providing a platform for conversation that encourages them to embrace the changes, rather than fear them.
Paul’s journey through midlife is ongoing, but he’s learning to embrace this transitional period, seeing it as an opportunity to rethink what success and purpose really mean.
“Midlife isn’t something to fear—it’s a chance to reshape your life. I don’t have all the answers yet, but I’m working on it.” Through honesty and a willingness to ask difficult questions, Paul is not only creating a new purpose for himself but also for the many others walking the same path.
Listen to the full conversation...
Follow on:
Comments